In future reference, this day will only be known as "the day"!
When you look up pushing and reaching your limit in the dictionary, this day shows up. There are not many journal entries from that day, the only thing I have, is my memory and a blank note page on my phone. I was so tired and so annoyed that I did not even write down anything at night. There are only a handful of moments in my life, where I have been pushed to my absolute maximum. Pushed to a point where I was one second away from giving up. And this day was one of those moments.
But let´s start at the beginning.
I woke up refreshed and motivated. The sun was back out and in moments like this, you finally understand that the sun gives life. After being cold and wet for
so long, it felt like a blessing walking in the sunlight. Feeling the warmth on my skin gave me a much needed boost of energy. I thought this was the
day I could tackle whatever life throws at me. Little did I know that even the sun cannot counter the amount of obstacles life can throw.
I walked Sierra and then started taking down the tent and packing the bike. I slowly found my routine and way to pack my bike in a way that made it easy for me to access things on the go.
Especially with the constant change of clothes due to the weather. I now had a rain set up and a sun set up which worked really well for me. And as my appetite slowely returned the snacks also
started showing up on my handlebar.
With a new tactic for Sierra and being confident that she was slowely starting to get the hang of being a bikepacking dog we took off. The first stop was the supermarket ICA in Sjöbo. We really needed to get some food and check the wifi for a weather report and camping update. It is a win win, as ICA offers free Wifi. This was our first experience in a swedish supermarket and I was a bit overwhelmed. A few challenges for me personally were finding food for Sierra, paying in the end and leaving Sierra in the trailer outside the store - supervised or not. The constant worry that someone steals my dog or sticks their hand into the trailer and loses it in the process. Swedish supermarkets seem to stock a lot of kibble and dry and very little wet dog food. Sierra is used to kibble but I the sizes varied from 8kg - 25kg. Needless to say I am not able to get those big bags of food so I had to opt in for another alternative.
We did find a small alternative for her and were able to avoid the rice and tuna dinner, which Sierra was really happy about. With my beginner swedish vocabulary I also missed the fact, that cards are swiped before scanning items. It was a beautiful moment in front of that machine trying to figure out what to do until the lady told me I can also switch the language to English by pressing the flag in the top corner. Epic failure.
Fully packed with more dinners, snacks and a treat for Sierra we found a great new wildcamping spot and took off. At this point I was still motivated even though I has huffing and puffing my way up and up those hills. Now with a bigger resupply and more weight I definitely felt it. But I had eaten enough the last few days and could really feel the strength from being fuled properly. My legs however felt as week as they did before. Riding on the roads, however slow, still felt safe. People in Sweden drive incredibly safe, slow down, keep enough distance and are really respectful of bikers. Even though we slow down traffic trying to get from point A to point B. Even with roads that allow 70-100km/hour I never felt unsafe. I did however slowly started to get tired and was really excited when we found our exit towards our potential wild camping spot. The map said it was next to an elleged water source and that was highly motivating. As I knew we were able to get water soon, I shared the last good amount of water and only kept a little bit for Sierra in case she needed it. That my friends was a bad decision. We went down an incredible gravel road and found a perfect spot to camp. However... the said stream or water source, was nowhere to be seen. We figured out that it was down a hiking trail that we were unable to get to with the bikes or trailer. So we tried a little bit further down the road but unfortunately it was fenced off and gave us no opportunity to see or reach said water source. We had another idea so cycled back to the beginning, but were also unable to reach as it was on privat property and fenced off. So we decided to try one last spot that showed up on the map. Again not accessible to us as it was in the middle of a field and group of sheep that did not seem too happy about us there. By this time I had rolled my eyes so many times I resembled Mad Eye Moody. So we made the decision to keep going and find another spot. My already tired mind was now getting really worried. I knew I was about to reach my limit and the other spot was a bit further away.
Do you know the moment you are so exhausted and frustrated that you start talking with yourself? Not only did I reach this moment I also was so exhausted I could feel my eyes water and soon started having trouble breathing. I had a full panic attack on my bike but kept going and tried to calm myself. I did not believe I could pull this off, it took every bit of effort to get the trailer up those hills. I had to get off multiple times to push and when I could not even push anymore I ate all my candy in a desperate attempt that this rush of sugar could fuel me enough to make it to the goal. It did not make it better but gave the impression that it worked, so I got my playlist out and tried to motivate me with a bit of music. Somehow after another eternity I caught up with Alicia and we managed to find a fire station, that had a tap on the side of the building where I filled up everything I had, just in case. But this area was too close to the road and also not great for setting up a tent.
So we kept going to Christinehofs slott in the hopes that we could simply sleep in the parking lot. Turns out that also did not work. After studying the map and asking the lovely lady who worked there she gave us instructions to a wildcamping spot close by. Close by. When I was told we had to keep going to another spot I ate every single gummi bear I had left. I started to feel like a crazy person. We had done so many detours, went in circles, had so many dissapointments already and my body went into a mode of just somehow doing what my brain told it to do. I was way beyond my limit and was now feeling like a deflated ballon. I reached the moment from frustration, tiredness and sadness into the "what else you got universe" mood. Another 3 kilometers. That does not sound much right? But if you have already done more than 55km with a body that is only used to 30, it is a lot.
When we finally made it to the wildcamping spot I simply laid down on the ground and closed my eyes. No way on earth was I going to move anywhere else.
I got up, set up our tent for the night and took Sierra for a quick swim in the lake. That helped me cool down and helped my legs to recover. This dinner was massive and I think I took 2 magnesium tablets that night and drank a full protein shake. I really did want my body to get a chance to recover over night. The one great thing that came from today was that we were not alone. A lovely swedish family was camping next to us and not only gave us their left over BBQ sausages and also gave us their phone number to have a place to sleep at the end of our trip. It only takes a trail angel to turn a day around. After dinner I went straight to bed and fell asleep almost as soon as my head hit the pillow.
What a day it was. I can honestly say that I would not want to repeat this experience, but looking back on it I learned a lot about reading swedish maps, water resupply and wildcamping 101.
Write a comment