It is the end of 2019. I have just finished my 5 1/2 months long hike from Mexico to Canada, and I am heading home to Germany for work and to save a little bit more money for my next destination. But not only was this the end of my thruhike, it was also going to be the end of my almost decade long world trip. In the last years, I have only been home twice. Once in 2016 (4 years after leaving) to surprise my family and the second time in 2018, because I needed some more money in preparation for my PCT hike. I did not know then, that a pandemic was going to hit the world and hold a tight grasp on us for almost 2 years.
I went back home with the idea that I was able to leave again soon. I was not ready to stay. There is a difference if you get to stay because you want to or if you need to stay because you have to. I started to feel stuck, empty and frustrated. How do you fit back in at home, when you have grown so much. When you have almost "outgrown" your surroundings with all the experiences you have made. When the conversations are exactly the same as you remember them, the radio still plays the same tunes and the television keeps playing the same movies on repeat. How do connect when you can't find something to talk about? When they simply can't comprehend what you have done or have the same interests in topics anymore. You have missed so much, that you don't understand what they are talking about anymore or find it mundane because now you can't relate. It sounds weird for anyone who has not experienced it. Traveling long term opens up your mind to other cultures, countries, believes and experiences. You have conversations with people from all walks of life. So when you return and the only points of conversation are the weather, what a colleague has done and what was on trash TV the night before, you feel lost, mentally bored, empty and not stimulated enough. Conflicting thoughts cross your mind. Are we being dramatic, are our feelings real? Family and friends are doing great, but you can't seem to connect anymore. This country has a great life standard, so why do we feel unhappy here? We don't feel understood and just want nothing more than jump online and book another flight out as soon as possible. Lucky for us, there is a real term for it.
Post travel depression
Post trail depression
And even more important, it is to understand that what we are feeling is legit and should be taken seriously but will also go away again. It gets better, trust me. I always try to describe it as a reversed culture shock or a travel heart break. Just that this one hits deeper, feels longer and is not respected by
our surroundings because you might be the first one to feel that way. So there are a few things that you can do to make the process easier and to help you adjust to the "normal" life faster. The
thing that is the most important one for me to mention first is that You are not alone, but if the following tips don't work for you, please reach out to a professional. I have
done it, and there is nothing to be ashamed off in getting some help or simply talking to someone about how you are feeling. Sometimes there are other triggers, feelings and emotions we have dug
deep into our mind that can have a hold on us and our PTD. I didn't know I was fleeing from something before I was told. The bravest thing you can do is ask for help.
Patience
The most important thing is to be patient and kind to yourself. It does take some time to readjust back in to your "real life". Even though it may not look like it right now, it will get better. Time is your ally. You might think that you can never get to a point of accepting this life you are currently living. You are bored, tired, it's cold and gray and nobody wants to talk about your experiences or understands them. Be patient with yourself and others around you. They have never experienced what you have or seen what you've seen. They might never understand, and that is alright. You have to live it to get it.
Don't let your surroundings stress you. Take your time processing and be patient, arriving back in your old/ new life. Adjust back to your community and country.
Catch up with what you may have missed. And don't let anyone pressure you in getting a job within days (if you can afford it).
Plans
Don't dwell in your little bubble for too long. You might get too frustrated. Be patient but don't let the tiredness, frustration, sadness and feelings overtake. We need to get you excited again. It's time to make plans. You might think that there are no adventures out your front door. But have you really looked for them, or just accepted your old memories? You have a new outlook on life now, use it. Look into micro adventures, find camping spots near you, or simply go sightseeing in the cities close to you. I hated Germany when I returned until I started looking beyond my narrative and started finding beautiful lakes, incredible shops, landmarks, cafés, ruins, castles and fun things to do. Adventure is what we make it, and isn't that exactly what we did when we travelled? Start looking and make plans for a new adventure. Small or big. Doesn't matter. Just start looking and head out.
Memories
Memories are so crucial. We visit them if we feel sad. We visit them when we feel great. Use the memories to feel better dealing with your PTD. Sort through all your pictures and make a collage, and maybe even feel inspired to text one of your travel buddies again. Write a book, create a blog, and relive those moments and times. Most importantly, embrace the emotions that come with it. Feel sad, feel happy, feel angry, feel frustrated that it's over. Coming back from a big trip can feel like a massive heart break. Make a memory box. One that has the most important moments, the best people and the days that got you to this moment right now. Think about having something to touch when you feel nostalgic or when your niece or nephew or children ask you one day. Oh, the stories you will tell. Be ready to show them and inspire.
Community
When I finished my thruhike I was told from the beginning to not let go of my trail family after the trail ends. I didn't understand it till much later. But keep in
contact with the people who understand. People you travelled with, you hiked with, you shared all those experiences with. They will carry you through the tougher times. Also try and find people
around who might be into adventures, or who have the same interests as you. You might be surprised how many people might be traveling through your area right now. Start your own hiking community
or get your friends together for a drink or go out and talk to strangers (stranger danger is still real. Don't do something Danny wouldn't do) or just sit in front of tourist information and talk
to people who have never been to this place. Give directions, be a trail angel, offer couch-surfing. There are so many options. Just don't hide like I did. Open your eyes and get creative. Find
your community.
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